BY SUMMER CRANDALL

The other day at work, I heard someone make what they thought was a harmless joke, the kind of comment people toss out without thinking twice. But within minutes, it spread like wildfire. Coworkers were offended, whispers started flying, and by the end of the day, the entire staff had turned against him. What began as an offhand remark turned into a full-blown cancellation. Watching it unfold, I couldn’t help but wonder, when did we stop giving people the chance to apologize?

We live in a time where one bad moment can define a person forever. A single sentence can erase years of kindness, hard work, or integrity. While accountability is important, so is compassion and lately it feels like we’ve forgotten how to balance the two.

According to an essay published by Deseret News, author Hal Boyd notes that society has shifted away from mercy, writing that “we live in a culture that delights in outrage but hesitates to forgive.” He cites Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who once said, “He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power of love.” That quote reminds us that forgiveness isn’t just a moral choice, it’s a societal necessity.

The problem isn’t that people are held accountable. the problem is that we’ve lost the belief that people can change. When someone is “canceled,” they’re not encouraged to reflect, learn, or rebuild. They’re exiled. And once that label sticks, it’s almost impossible to remove. The punishment becomes permanent, even if the offense wasn’t.

According to psychologist Everett Worthington, a leading researcher on forgiveness at Virginia Commonwealth University, forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning wrongdoing; it means “releasing resentment so that both sides can move toward healing.” In other words, forgiveness is not the opposite of accountability; it’s what allows accountability to actually work.

So what would accountability with compassion look like? It would mean holding people responsible for their words and actions but also giving them the tools and time to make things right. It would mean listening to their apologies and watching for change, not just waiting for them to mess up again. According to writer Kai Cheng Thom in a 2020 essay for Transform Harm, true justice “is not about punishing people into goodness, but supporting them in becoming better.” Most importantly, it would mean believing that people are capable of learning.

Forgiveness isn’t letting someone off the hook. It’s giving them a reason to be better. Maybe, in a world that’s so quick to cancel, the most radical thing we can do is remember how to forgive.